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.ME.Somehow I end up alone, always one way or another
is it that strange, that it is not your fault but my own.
I could end up blaming you, yet my tears only tell me
that this is my very own fault, my blame as it is mine.
I like to dream, that miles away is where I belong
that my salvation lays there, my neverending peace
my heart now doubts it, because alone I am crying
without you there, crying quietly alone in my room
I believe that crying is weak, yet some say I am wrong
but I do not believe them, beacuse these tears are weak
and I do not got the strenght to stop them, cursed tears
their falling down, neverending, your just as weak as me
I was born as everyone else, pure and innocent. As you.
But i ended up as something deeply different as I grew
as if someone had torn of my wings, I grew tainted.
But I cannot blame you, becase this is me, my fault.
I cannot wash off the stains that is burned into me, my soul
I cannot change the dark blood my soul have spilt, nor you
I can look in the
Black Wings - the startMy name is Ashlee, now I feel so old, so grey. As life passes by I keep remembering them, everyone who ever mattered to me, some faint, and some so very close to my heart as it just happened yesterday. As years passes I may forget again, I might forget them all. But one thing I do know, I will never forget him. Kai was his name; I've told people about it, some assume it was all a dream and it never happened. It's not one of those happy summer tales, with happy endings and flowers everywhere. Where should I start, it may sound like the beginning of a million of other stories. But this one isn't some lovely fairly tale, this happened, this is apart of my life. I was young, 15 years old. Hadn't even seen any part of the world expect the little town I grew up in. I had just gotten my first heartache, my first crush; David was his name had been a friend of mine. The last few months he had been flirting with me, calling me sweet names and giving me the impression he had some feeli
this known pathwalking down this path again
my entire heart is screaming no
but my body just wants more
i have been here before
last time, i ended up broken
but this time i just cant stop
and i am scared, yet i cannot stop
if i ask, they all tell me to stay
don't be blinded by fear
so i stay, to look what this time will bring
whatever it is, i'm sure i'll stay strong
for i have survived up til now, i can again
.l o s t in e t e r n i t y.walking around in the blizzard,
looking into the darkness
am i really lost in eternity
for when i think of you
thats how i feel, so lost
lost in the sweet sense of eternity
and am i not always thinking of you
then, if it feels like this
aren't i lost in eternity
it's such a sweet yet cruel taste
being so lost in eternity like this
like a trapped fairy in a glassbowl
something so beautifull,yet painful,
my heart is shaking, worse then a thunderfall
like its about to break or something worse.
lost in eternity, what an odd feeling.
this feeling im having, is it sorrow
or is it peave, lost in eternity - both
.:: your name, my scar ::..:: your name, my scar ::.
it's hunting me now, never easing from my mind
wherever i turn, your name is whispered from my lips
pretending your forgotten, stopped talking about you
yet, in my mind, your name never disapered away.
sometimes, just sometimes i get a urge, a deep urge
to burn your name into my skin, the name i cant forget
put it someplace i can hide it, yet watch upon it.
just to make your name disapere from my mind, your name...
i don't want to forget, i want to remember you, like a warning
but the burden of these heavy memories, pain, such pain.
it becomes to much, and i know it will break me. only break me.
i try denying it, i try forget it. it only gets worse.
somewhere miles and miles away you are, i don't know where
and i cant seem to stop missing you, yet your never coming back
when i know i never knew you, i only want you here more
your name, is my scar. because it will burn forever, and ever
close my eyes, and all i see is you, the memories you left me with
.:. her ::.Oh, princess, why did u come
to save me, help me.
Is it a selfish act,
or is it mearly out of love
or out of wanting to help
oh you dark angel,
why did you come back
when you once left for good
when i thouth i was safe,
so i no longer could hurt you
why did you come to me,
when you know the pain
i once caused you, o why and why
its all i ask, because i dont know
because i want to know
or is it only, that your born this kind
that you don't want to see people hurt
or is it that you want to understand
to know, to read people.
Is it a game to you? Or is it kindness
either way, i am greatful
for you, to come around
i dont care, for what reason
your soul, heals.
do not mistake: a love poemback then, when you where mine
then, i loved you so highly.
Do not mistake that love
for something as simple as lies
those words i told you
they where ment for you.
Those nice and warm words
ment for you, and only you
my love for you, used to be so strong
now time has gone, we went our ways
my love is changed, as we both did
do not mistake that, for lies
back then, when you where mine
then we were happy, for awhile
life moved on, our past remains the same
yet in a calm sense, i love you still.
.: best friends forever :..:: bestfriends forever ::.
that was what we was,
that was what we said
best friends forever -
our magic words
hand in hand
like nothings wrong
we enjoyed life,
as it came everyday
the bad, the good
we remained close,
never to drift away
my hand seeks yours -
and your gone,
you packed your bags
and walked away,
going out somewhere
and leaving me alone
the words forever,
crushed infront of me
all lost in darkness
and i still look at the sky
asking where you are,
you've forgotten me yet
or if your still thinking of me
once we where
best friends, now -
we're only doomed
to be strangers
another baka poem bout cutingthe pain fades away, as the tears fall down and blood spill
the pain fades away, as another bottle with pills go empty
all the nights i cried myself to sleep because of you
i just want to forget it all, all those times i did forget
somehow i cant forget you any longer, as every memories
every moment i shared with you, is stabbing me deep.
the pain fades away, as i cut myself deeper and deeper
and i force my pain away, with all the wrong things
someone ask me, whats wrong, wonder if I'm okay,
and all i do is look at them, with tears in my eyes
because every thought i have about you, kills me on the inside
to the end, where i go insane. breaking slowly, dieing on the inside
the pain fades away, yet i still find myself crying
the pain fades away, yet my heart is still bleeding
and everything around me is reminding me of you,
everyone around me telling me I'm thinking to much
yet my heart don't let go, my heart keep hurting.
and i don't understand, why i cant move on. I'm still crying
The Boy Who Wouldnt EatIf you can flutter
I have failed you,
for you were not forged
to be so insubstantial as that
You were writ
to be an epic fable
of endings ignored,
of outlasting your body
through the sheer will
of a writers starving heart
through a broken, bowed
but bravely abiding body
that fights the soul
to comprehend Beauty.
BeautyI'd rather wear flowers in my hair,
forming a delicate chain
Than diamonds around my neck,
covering my tender blue veins
For with every precious petal
and every lucent leaf
I'm a living lesson
teaching beauty can not be bought
But rather it grows and flourishes
with every living thought
................written in a frenzy and run-on
and exclamation points
used in rapid succession
words all blurred
so bare bones it's bloody
strung out and on display
in a frightening combination
of paragraphs and stanzas
punctuation gone mad
ellipses my new black
used and abused
then spit out
in gratuitous repetition
there is no word count here
no hearts dotting the i's
just a string of letters
done up in cursive
but not very pretty at all
Fearing MeI'm not afraid to cry
and I do it
a lot more than you would guess.
It isn't always sadness,
I just feel like I need to,
feel everything so strongly
that it's the only way
to let go for a moment
because if I hold on for too long,
if my grip gets too tight
I'll break myself,
I will break you like glass
and we will both
I am a good guy
who hasn't yet found a way
to show it,
I am a good guy
who still identifies with the villains,
hides everything important
anything to throw you
off of my trail....
and I don't know why,
but I am trying.
Maybe I think
that if you could see me,
the real me,
you wouldn't want to look anymore,
want to be anywhere near me,
and the idea
that I can't add up
to be enough for you,
to be enough for me,
is so fucking heart breaking
I can hardly fathom it.
I can't say that it doesn't hurt
because it does,
it hurts a whole hell of a lot,
I've come to depend on pain,
to befriend misery
you're just a question marki met you so long ago
but back then our bodies were made of metal
and nowadays they’re made of the blades of
grass and dirt settling
underneath my fingernails.
my fingers are having a hard time
reaching the keys and
my organs are shaking mostly because i haven’t
eaten in two days but also
because i’m worried about the things you're doing to yourself.
we didn’t meet very long ago at all but it feels like forever ago
and you say you don’t know me
that you don’t know anyone
but baby you're turning into a skeleton and i’m peeling back my skin
to try and reach my bones, just like you.
i hope you're happy,
i’m covering the hard wood floors now
the bits and pieces splattered.
they are calling it a suicide but i’m calling it
a way to see my brain and
just how dark it has become, and honestly
i don’t want you to try and see about your’s.
i’m mourning the loss of my heart and wish you weren’t either -
Sound PoemIthrumden, ithrumden delsum
nith mul thruss elmrissull.
Eth rut mundelliss
Curmiette dessel renrin
irme trell ithrumden.
The partyFlashing lights
Smoke all around
About to pass out
My head starts to hurt
I can't take this anymore
So without saying anything
I find the exit
And escape that place
"How can someone have fun in there?"
as love for summer fades.late morning-
there's the tease of
snow in the clouds,
in the air, and the trees
have finally lost their
the sunlight is damp.
alters the room
as it graces my skin,
and for once
i don't wake up right away.
instead i lay
between my memory bitten
sheets, and i think
about all the times he said
that he hated winter.
i don't remember
when i began to love it,
and i don't care.
nothing can shatter that.
Coming HomeComing down the ramp I spotted you in the crowd
Your tenderloin skin always stands out
Your aura was particularly bright that day
Whirling dervish colors in the pale sun
You wore a chauffeurs cap and held a sign that said “Anyone”
I knew that I wasn’t anyone, so I walked away
“Strange days,” someone said, and I agreed
I hate crowds and old garbled memories
Arriving home, my wife and cat didn’t recognize me
I looked in the mirror and noticed that I was someone else
Still carrying my old baggage, I turned away
I should have taken your limo
.:: Broken Childhood ::..:: Broken Childhood ::.
I wish I could be the one you were proud off,
I wish I could be as perfect as you want me to be.
But I know this pain only exsist as a provement,
that I am not the child you want me to be.
I wish you would be interested in me, and in my life.
I wish you could care, but these tears only prove,
that you don't, that I'm not the child you want.
You still turn your back to me. Like I'm not there.
Your not a bad person, your eyes just never search for me,
as I do not live up to your expeditions, I never did.
You rather cover your eyes, and ears, for the wicked child,
that child you brougth to life, because you do not want me.
Some day I know I will find a place I belong too,
a place where this pain will fade away, even if scars stay.
But I know, that some day will be without you,
because even now, you still don't accept me.
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^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More