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.ME.Somehow I end up alone, always one way or another
is it that strange, that it is not your fault but my own.
I could end up blaming you, yet my tears only tell me
that this is my very own fault, my blame as it is mine.
I like to dream, that miles away is where I belong
that my salvation lays there, my neverending peace
my heart now doubts it, because alone I am crying
without you there, crying quietly alone in my room
I believe that crying is weak, yet some say I am wrong
but I do not believe them, beacuse these tears are weak
and I do not got the strenght to stop them, cursed tears
their falling down, neverending, your just as weak as me
I was born as everyone else, pure and innocent. As you.
But i ended up as something deeply different as I grew
as if someone had torn of my wings, I grew tainted.
But I cannot blame you, becase this is me, my fault.
I cannot wash off the stains that is burned into me, my soul
I cannot change the dark blood my soul have spilt, nor you
I can look in the
Black Wings - the startMy name is Ashlee, now I feel so old, so grey. As life passes by I keep remembering them, everyone who ever mattered to me, some faint, and some so very close to my heart as it just happened yesterday. As years passes I may forget again, I might forget them all. But one thing I do know, I will never forget him. Kai was his name; I've told people about it, some assume it was all a dream and it never happened. It's not one of those happy summer tales, with happy endings and flowers everywhere. Where should I start, it may sound like the beginning of a million of other stories. But this one isn't some lovely fairly tale, this happened, this is apart of my life. I was young, 15 years old. Hadn't even seen any part of the world expect the little town I grew up in. I had just gotten my first heartache, my first crush; David was his name had been a friend of mine. The last few months he had been flirting with me, calling me sweet names and giving me the impression he had some feeli
this known pathwalking down this path again
my entire heart is screaming no
but my body just wants more
i have been here before
last time, i ended up broken
but this time i just cant stop
and i am scared, yet i cannot stop
if i ask, they all tell me to stay
don't be blinded by fear
so i stay, to look what this time will bring
whatever it is, i'm sure i'll stay strong
for i have survived up til now, i can again
.l o s t in e t e r n i t y.walking around in the blizzard,
looking into the darkness
am i really lost in eternity
for when i think of you
thats how i feel, so lost
lost in the sweet sense of eternity
and am i not always thinking of you
then, if it feels like this
aren't i lost in eternity
it's such a sweet yet cruel taste
being so lost in eternity like this
like a trapped fairy in a glassbowl
something so beautifull,yet painful,
my heart is shaking, worse then a thunderfall
like its about to break or something worse.
lost in eternity, what an odd feeling.
this feeling im having, is it sorrow
or is it peave, lost in eternity - both
.:: your name, my scar ::..:: your name, my scar ::.
it's hunting me now, never easing from my mind
wherever i turn, your name is whispered from my lips
pretending your forgotten, stopped talking about you
yet, in my mind, your name never disapered away.
sometimes, just sometimes i get a urge, a deep urge
to burn your name into my skin, the name i cant forget
put it someplace i can hide it, yet watch upon it.
just to make your name disapere from my mind, your name...
i don't want to forget, i want to remember you, like a warning
but the burden of these heavy memories, pain, such pain.
it becomes to much, and i know it will break me. only break me.
i try denying it, i try forget it. it only gets worse.
somewhere miles and miles away you are, i don't know where
and i cant seem to stop missing you, yet your never coming back
when i know i never knew you, i only want you here more
your name, is my scar. because it will burn forever, and ever
close my eyes, and all i see is you, the memories you left me with
.:. her ::.Oh, princess, why did u come
to save me, help me.
Is it a selfish act,
or is it mearly out of love
or out of wanting to help
oh you dark angel,
why did you come back
when you once left for good
when i thouth i was safe,
so i no longer could hurt you
why did you come to me,
when you know the pain
i once caused you, o why and why
its all i ask, because i dont know
because i want to know
or is it only, that your born this kind
that you don't want to see people hurt
or is it that you want to understand
to know, to read people.
Is it a game to you? Or is it kindness
either way, i am greatful
for you, to come around
i dont care, for what reason
your soul, heals.
do not mistake: a love poemback then, when you where mine
then, i loved you so highly.
Do not mistake that love
for something as simple as lies
those words i told you
they where ment for you.
Those nice and warm words
ment for you, and only you
my love for you, used to be so strong
now time has gone, we went our ways
my love is changed, as we both did
do not mistake that, for lies
back then, when you where mine
then we were happy, for awhile
life moved on, our past remains the same
yet in a calm sense, i love you still.
.: best friends forever :..:: bestfriends forever ::.
that was what we was,
that was what we said
best friends forever -
our magic words
hand in hand
like nothings wrong
we enjoyed life,
as it came everyday
the bad, the good
we remained close,
never to drift away
my hand seeks yours -
and your gone,
you packed your bags
and walked away,
going out somewhere
and leaving me alone
the words forever,
crushed infront of me
all lost in darkness
and i still look at the sky
asking where you are,
you've forgotten me yet
or if your still thinking of me
once we where
best friends, now -
we're only doomed
to be strangers
another baka poem bout cutingthe pain fades away, as the tears fall down and blood spill
the pain fades away, as another bottle with pills go empty
all the nights i cried myself to sleep because of you
i just want to forget it all, all those times i did forget
somehow i cant forget you any longer, as every memories
every moment i shared with you, is stabbing me deep.
the pain fades away, as i cut myself deeper and deeper
and i force my pain away, with all the wrong things
someone ask me, whats wrong, wonder if I'm okay,
and all i do is look at them, with tears in my eyes
because every thought i have about you, kills me on the inside
to the end, where i go insane. breaking slowly, dieing on the inside
the pain fades away, yet i still find myself crying
the pain fades away, yet my heart is still bleeding
and everything around me is reminding me of you,
everyone around me telling me I'm thinking to much
yet my heart don't let go, my heart keep hurting.
and i don't understand, why i cant move on. I'm still crying
I willI will love you
all the way to the place where ladybirds go to die,
to the lushest corners of the earth
that hold the secrets no man was meant to see
and we will find them, and know them together.
I will love you
all the way to the place where bubbles are made
at the bottom of a glass of cider
that blisters the glass with condensation
as we trade hats and laugh at the way the air smiles.
I will love you
all the way inside a branch where buds dream of Becoming,
where those one-day-flowers stir wooden hearts
into an uprising, into a blossoming life
and we will plant our ambitions there, in the blooming place.
I will love you
all the way to the square brackets that hold our boxes
because you are my best friends, and you will be
as we fold papery hands around paper-cut wrists and cry
and mourn eighty-odd years flown by too fast. Even then.
Even then, I will love you still.
Beyond LoveYou say 'beautiful' like a mistake -
like it slipped out unwarranted
from those dark parts of your mind
that you don't want me to go to,
you say it like that.
You caress like it's worship -
like if you pressed too hard
or took too much, you'd pay the price
and I love those urgent times when
you're willing to pay it.
You teach me love like I'll die without it -
like if you don't defrost me
and my frozen image of myself,
then I might stop breathing
and extinguish beneath my own icy damnation.
You kiss me like you have to -
like we're sharing an oxygen tank
in a toxic, broken-down universe
and you are trying not to breathe
to save me.
You kiss me like that.
You love me, like that -
how am I supposed to resist
a man who loves me beyond his own sense
and senses - beyond love ?
In SanityI find myself in a world of white,
This place it feels so pure.
The Sun's rays are warm and bright
I've never felt so sure.
I explore the land and all its sights,
I enjoy the world's grand tour.
I wander around until the night
Shows what it has in store.
In the darkness, a speck of light
Reveals a hidden door.
I turn the handle and peer inside,
A sight I can't endure.
I turn to run, to escape my plight,
I dare not to explore.
But something inside catches my eye,
I can't resist the lure.
I awake to find myself tied tight,
A voice tries to assure,
"This one may finally fix you right,
Maybe this is the cure."
kafka has been dead foreveri.
I am going to cut the veins out of my neck:
pull the stars from the legiments
drown the cities in bruises
I am going to burn in hell:
tear down the pyramids, the faces, the continents
the weight of the universe
(if I live to be 20
I will know the landscape of my mind
as well as the bottom of the ocean
& people I've never met)
Stereotypical SuicideSuicide is not a stereotype.
Not everyone has a family,
Nobody who lives for their care,
Nobody who wants them around,
Nobody who helps them through life,
Suicide is not a stereotype.
Not everyone has friends,
Not a person there for a simple hug,
Not a person existing for a reassuring look,
Not a person around to leave the words,
Suicide is not a stereotype.
Not everyone has a home,
No place to live and feel happy in so,
No place to live without leaving again,
No place to live to avoid the truth,
Suicide is not a stereotype.
Not everyone has a love,
Nothing there to hold them in warm arms,
Nothing there for a kiss to remember,
Nothing there to be a greatness in life,
Suicide is not a stereotype.
Not everyone has a someone,
"Don't do it - for your family
They mean nothing to me anymore,
"Don't do it - for your friends"
Friends? What friends? They don't exist,
"Don't do it - what about home
sunset soon forgottenin a single moment all her greatness collapsed,
her soulfulness small and full of absence.
i am wild
with infinite shades of yes -
and a careless smile
so kiss me quick
under the sun
(just until the pain leaves)
DunesOut on the dunes, you could be walking on the moon
Maybe you are, maybe we are; see that planet in the sky?
How much more can be said about body heat, about
Sucking the marrow from bones in a vain attempt to quench?
Disheveled by dust-storms in an ocean of sand, we walk
Blank-window eyes searching for what, some sort of life?
Our feet are heavy, the ground wants to eat them; no moon, this
Now the sky is the color of sand, and there are no stars to wish on
Sweat and dead weight, we wait for the coolness of night
Fatigued, delusional, we see a rusty car approach; we get in
EasterRemember what you love,
you with sand in your teeth
and the feral burn of hunger
in your eyes.
God sends his regrets.
He made you grasping and slow,
in a late hour
when the wine washed low.
Remember what you love.
Fall to your knees in the toss
and the swell, quell
the appetite of the cold black sea.
Beg blessings for your home
and the salt-sick trees.
Reach what lies near:
the fat-faced child, the sweet-soft lamb;
tether the tantrum, trickle the blood.
Offer psalms to what is holy,
whisper the name of what you love
as it bobs in the bleak mad sea.
PompeiiI will lay my body at the base of your columns
Waiting for the flaking of your warpaint;
This could make all the difference.
The whore-babble language of your oracle
Heard from the great taproot
Tastes like sodden wool in another's mouth
This is what I have to say in the dark
With your hand smothering my hip and side
Like a cloud meant for Pompeii,
And the fires are never drenched.
I have collected your warpaint
Swept and scooped from the base
In flakes no bigger than glitter
To adhere to myself
Like sticky snails to leaves.
The eternal tremors will knock them free.
.:: Broken Childhood ::..:: Broken Childhood ::.
I wish I could be the one you were proud off,
I wish I could be as perfect as you want me to be.
But I know this pain only exsist as a provement,
that I am not the child you want me to be.
I wish you would be interested in me, and in my life.
I wish you could care, but these tears only prove,
that you don't, that I'm not the child you want.
You still turn your back to me. Like I'm not there.
Your not a bad person, your eyes just never search for me,
as I do not live up to your expeditions, I never did.
You rather cover your eyes, and ears, for the wicked child,
that child you brougth to life, because you do not want me.
Some day I know I will find a place I belong too,
a place where this pain will fade away, even if scars stay.
But I know, that some day will be without you,
because even now, you still don't accept me.
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Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More