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.ME.Somehow I end up alone, always one way or another
is it that strange, that it is not your fault but my own.
I could end up blaming you, yet my tears only tell me
that this is my very own fault, my blame as it is mine.
I like to dream, that miles away is where I belong
that my salvation lays there, my neverending peace
my heart now doubts it, because alone I am crying
without you there, crying quietly alone in my room
I believe that crying is weak, yet some say I am wrong
but I do not believe them, beacuse these tears are weak
and I do not got the strenght to stop them, cursed tears
their falling down, neverending, your just as weak as me
I was born as everyone else, pure and innocent. As you.
But i ended up as something deeply different as I grew
as if someone had torn of my wings, I grew tainted.
But I cannot blame you, becase this is me, my fault.
I cannot wash off the stains that is burned into me, my soul
I cannot change the dark blood my soul have spilt, nor you
I can look in the
Black Wings - the startMy name is Ashlee, now I feel so old, so grey. As life passes by I keep remembering them, everyone who ever mattered to me, some faint, and some so very close to my heart as it just happened yesterday. As years passes I may forget again, I might forget them all. But one thing I do know, I will never forget him. Kai was his name; I've told people about it, some assume it was all a dream and it never happened. It's not one of those happy summer tales, with happy endings and flowers everywhere. Where should I start, it may sound like the beginning of a million of other stories. But this one isn't some lovely fairly tale, this happened, this is apart of my life. I was young, 15 years old. Hadn't even seen any part of the world expect the little town I grew up in. I had just gotten my first heartache, my first crush; David was his name had been a friend of mine. The last few months he had been flirting with me, calling me sweet names and giving me the impression he had some feeli
this known pathwalking down this path again
my entire heart is screaming no
but my body just wants more
i have been here before
last time, i ended up broken
but this time i just cant stop
and i am scared, yet i cannot stop
if i ask, they all tell me to stay
don't be blinded by fear
so i stay, to look what this time will bring
whatever it is, i'm sure i'll stay strong
for i have survived up til now, i can again
.l o s t in e t e r n i t y.walking around in the blizzard,
looking into the darkness
am i really lost in eternity
for when i think of you
thats how i feel, so lost
lost in the sweet sense of eternity
and am i not always thinking of you
then, if it feels like this
aren't i lost in eternity
it's such a sweet yet cruel taste
being so lost in eternity like this
like a trapped fairy in a glassbowl
something so beautifull,yet painful,
my heart is shaking, worse then a thunderfall
like its about to break or something worse.
lost in eternity, what an odd feeling.
this feeling im having, is it sorrow
or is it peave, lost in eternity - both
.:: your name, my scar ::..:: your name, my scar ::.
it's hunting me now, never easing from my mind
wherever i turn, your name is whispered from my lips
pretending your forgotten, stopped talking about you
yet, in my mind, your name never disapered away.
sometimes, just sometimes i get a urge, a deep urge
to burn your name into my skin, the name i cant forget
put it someplace i can hide it, yet watch upon it.
just to make your name disapere from my mind, your name...
i don't want to forget, i want to remember you, like a warning
but the burden of these heavy memories, pain, such pain.
it becomes to much, and i know it will break me. only break me.
i try denying it, i try forget it. it only gets worse.
somewhere miles and miles away you are, i don't know where
and i cant seem to stop missing you, yet your never coming back
when i know i never knew you, i only want you here more
your name, is my scar. because it will burn forever, and ever
close my eyes, and all i see is you, the memories you left me with
.:. her ::.Oh, princess, why did u come
to save me, help me.
Is it a selfish act,
or is it mearly out of love
or out of wanting to help
oh you dark angel,
why did you come back
when you once left for good
when i thouth i was safe,
so i no longer could hurt you
why did you come to me,
when you know the pain
i once caused you, o why and why
its all i ask, because i dont know
because i want to know
or is it only, that your born this kind
that you don't want to see people hurt
or is it that you want to understand
to know, to read people.
Is it a game to you? Or is it kindness
either way, i am greatful
for you, to come around
i dont care, for what reason
your soul, heals.
do not mistake: a love poemback then, when you where mine
then, i loved you so highly.
Do not mistake that love
for something as simple as lies
those words i told you
they where ment for you.
Those nice and warm words
ment for you, and only you
my love for you, used to be so strong
now time has gone, we went our ways
my love is changed, as we both did
do not mistake that, for lies
back then, when you where mine
then we were happy, for awhile
life moved on, our past remains the same
yet in a calm sense, i love you still.
.: best friends forever :..:: bestfriends forever ::.
that was what we was,
that was what we said
best friends forever -
our magic words
hand in hand
like nothings wrong
we enjoyed life,
as it came everyday
the bad, the good
we remained close,
never to drift away
my hand seeks yours -
and your gone,
you packed your bags
and walked away,
going out somewhere
and leaving me alone
the words forever,
crushed infront of me
all lost in darkness
and i still look at the sky
asking where you are,
you've forgotten me yet
or if your still thinking of me
once we where
best friends, now -
we're only doomed
to be strangers
another baka poem bout cutingthe pain fades away, as the tears fall down and blood spill
the pain fades away, as another bottle with pills go empty
all the nights i cried myself to sleep because of you
i just want to forget it all, all those times i did forget
somehow i cant forget you any longer, as every memories
every moment i shared with you, is stabbing me deep.
the pain fades away, as i cut myself deeper and deeper
and i force my pain away, with all the wrong things
someone ask me, whats wrong, wonder if I'm okay,
and all i do is look at them, with tears in my eyes
because every thought i have about you, kills me on the inside
to the end, where i go insane. breaking slowly, dieing on the inside
the pain fades away, yet i still find myself crying
the pain fades away, yet my heart is still bleeding
and everything around me is reminding me of you,
everyone around me telling me I'm thinking to much
yet my heart don't let go, my heart keep hurting.
and i don't understand, why i cant move on. I'm still crying
when you find yourself
in a crowd of familiar faces,
the struggle for breath
You Will PayI can taste the fear upon you:
The cold sweat in your palms,
The eyes that dart at shadows,
And the lips that are forced into a tightened smile.
You wait beneath the blankets,
Shivering each night as the anxiety rises.
You gasp at the slightest sounds and quiver...
For you are afraid of the curse that comes.
In your mind you see what you have done to me.
You watched as you ripped my tongue
And stole the very voice from my soul!
But even if I am without a body,
Even if I can no longer hold a knife to your throat.
Fear alone is enough for me to silence you,
And I will NEVER allow you to be heard!
Inner DemonI harbour a monster,
It lingers deep within.
It wants to escape me,
To tear free from my skin.
It gnaws at my insides,
And hopes that I'll give in.
It works hard to tempt me,
To lead me into sin.
It wants me to suffer
To feel its wretched sting.
But I stand true and strong,
I will not let it win.
The nights are the hardest,
In bed I pray and sing
To the Lord God above
To rid me of this thing.
But instead it remains,
My monster still within.
MazeLost within myself
Looking for a way out
This cannot end like this
Trapped in my own mind
A maze with no exit
I keep running and running
But I always end up
In the same place where I began
RustThe dwelling rust
swells this hollow garden
and somewhere in the yard
a tire swing goes flat
against the skyline.
It chokes the autumn light
in the silo,
the crush of
mums and ragged berries
It bubbles in the percolator
steeping still life
in the caul
of early morning -
the red-brown crumbs
of breakfast toast and jam
growing ghosts upon
And deep inside
I still hear you waking up
the soft salute
of morning voices
stirring the wind
outside my window.
Slaves of the deadSlaves of the dead
to find another land,
but they couldn't stand the desert and the frost.
Some died, some returned.
For those who returned
the masters had prepared a special punishment.
Their memory was wiped off.
They became thieves,
without ever understanding why.
They just felt it was the right thing to do.
Red Light ReduxHaving a truck
Paint me red
Is the strangest feeling
I’ve ever felt.
I’ve seen myself melt away
Like a mid-summer’s ice cream
While my personality screams
To be noticed. Every wall that once
Stood between me and reality
I am finally free.
Until they strapped me down
And sewed back my hands to my head.
My heart to my mouth.
My legs to the earth.
The taste of freedom
Rests gently on my tongue,
And I’ve been trying
To no avail.
.:: Broken Childhood ::..:: Broken Childhood ::.
I wish I could be the one you were proud off,
I wish I could be as perfect as you want me to be.
But I know this pain only exsist as a provement,
that I am not the child you want me to be.
I wish you would be interested in me, and in my life.
I wish you could care, but these tears only prove,
that you don't, that I'm not the child you want.
You still turn your back to me. Like I'm not there.
Your not a bad person, your eyes just never search for me,
as I do not live up to your expeditions, I never did.
You rather cover your eyes, and ears, for the wicked child,
that child you brougth to life, because you do not want me.
Some day I know I will find a place I belong too,
a place where this pain will fade away, even if scars stay.
But I know, that some day will be without you,
because even now, you still don't accept me.
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A two-time Community Volunteer for the deviantART Related category, Anne is well-known as a positive, helpful force. She is the community's resident expert when it comes to CSS (Cascading Style Sheets), and her personal gallery offers a wide variety of tutorials for new and experienced coders alike. In addition, each winter she hosts a calendar project encouraging members to create Journal designs for all to use, bringing more creativity to the community.
It is with immense gratitude that we acknowledge Anne as the recipient of the Deviousness Award for October 2014. Read More